A little morning reflection that came to me at breakfast on a holiday, when time seems to stretch out a bit more and leaves room for ideas:
The Illusion of the Destination
It can be very tempting—especially when, like me, you work in coaching and teaching—to dangle before your client the illusion of another shore where things will finally be stable and permanent.
Let me explain: people often come to see me during a time of transition—toward greater meaning, less stress, better health, and so on—so that I can help them navigate more or less turbulent waters and identify fulfilling, healthy, and nourishing paths. But I’d be lying if I led them to believe that these paths will also be home ports (to continue the metaphor).
I might be tempted to offer reassurance: “Yes, this is uncomfortable right now, but don’t worry—things will be much more stable afterward.” Except that the nature of our existence is impermanence, and as William James said, “Life is in the transitions”; I could rephrase that and say, “Life is made up of transitions.”
Oh yes, we’d love to tell ourselves that once the period of change and self-reflection is over, everything will fall into place, and all we’ll have to do is settle into a comfortable, permanent routine.
The Reality of Multiple Directions
But no, I truly believe that my job is to help others learn to embrace the uncertainties inherent in existence, to see directions rather than destinations, horizons rather than finish lines. Because we never really arrive anywhere—athletes know this: once you cross the finish line, there’s nothing waiting for you on the other side. The ground will continue to shift beneath our feet, and the unpredictable will keep shaking our certainties.
Embracing impermanence rather than resigning ourselves to it
And this can be experienced as a joyful openness, as a dance with experiences, as a movement toward becoming—which is, in fact, the very essence of life. We can live at the heart of life, in a landscape that is constantly being reshaped, and let ourselves be carried along by it with confidence. Or we can exhaust ourselves building dams, bridges, and reservoirs that the current will sweep away anyway.
Let’s choose the discomfort of the unpredictable, openness to the unexpected, and creative spontaneity. There, our life pulses, and its flow spreads out like a delta.