We can wear ourselves out trying to smooth out our lives so they no longer have rough edges and everything goes perfectly—that is, exactly as our ego needs it to feel comfortable.
But we have very little control over external circumstances. No matter how much we try to anticipate, manipulate, or ignore them, they remain what they are: events that happen, not things that happen to us personally.
Shantideva, the Buddhist sage, summed up this idea with the following metaphor: we can try to cover the ground with leather so our feet don’t get hurt—a futile effort, since we could never cover it all—or simply wear shoes, equipping ourselves to walk across every surface, both smooth and rough.
The spiritual path is the pair of shoes that allows us to stay in contact with the world without having to smooth everything out, tidy it up, sweep it clean, or level it so that it feels welcoming.